I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
