I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
