that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize