So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Can Purell be used as lube?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
