Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
