Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
