All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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