Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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