Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
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