It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
