he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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