Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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