I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
