Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
