People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
