Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize