I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
