Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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