You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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