Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize