Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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