my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
