I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
