for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize