Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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