somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
