Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
you never un-have a 4some
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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