Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
