I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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