you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
