I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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