Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
