we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
