you would pick up someone in the library
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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