My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize