So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
