She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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