I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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