The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
