Just took my morning after pill in the library
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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