I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
