it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
