It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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