i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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