just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
