This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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