I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
