Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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