Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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