Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
