Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
