You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
