i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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