id be glad to
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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