I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
