I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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