How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize