I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
