She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
