Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
